Advice from Dr. Chang

Today I thought I would steer off course and add some humor.  I received this joke from a friend via email.  I have no idea who to give credit to, but I felt it is too good not to share.  It is the kind of advice you would expect to get it Old Wise One was a doctor.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

CAN A SUBMISSIVE WIFE BE PRESIDENT?

In last night's Iowa debate Tea Party candidate Michelle Bachmann was asked to elaborate on an earlier statement about her vow to be submissive to her husband. Apparently while running for congress in 2006, Bachmann explained her decision to specialize in tax law. She said something to the effect of while in law school, she had never thought about tax law, but took advanced courses because her husband decided she should do so. She stated, "Be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands." She went on to pursue a career with the IRS which apparently left a bad taste in her mouth considering her views on taxes. Last night, the reporter asking the question was booed by the crowd and of course Bachmann dodged the question.

I remember when I stumbled across this wisdom in Ephesians and several other chapters of the bible and thought I had found the answer to most of my marital concerns. I read the verse to my wife, telling her this was how it was going to be from now on. I was in high heaven..... for about three seconds. Once the sharp pain subsided, I decided life would be better if I didn't rely too much on Paul's advice.

I see a couple concerns here. One, I think it is fair question since she is making her religious faith of how she and her husband view the world a major part of her campaign. In this case a submissive wife/president bothers me. Suppose she is told by her husband to take a particularly odd position (no pun intended) which would not be in the best interest of our country? Would she be obligated by her vow to follow his wishes?

Secondly, will her views lead us back to country of oppressed women? I recall during the beginning of the war in Afghanistan, Laura Bush commenting about how the women of Afghanistan were being mistreated under Islamic rules. Are we going to place our women into the same conditions of women that our troops have died trying to liberate?

The reporter's question was a fair question that warrants an honest and direct answer. During John F. Kennedy's campaign there was concern that his Catholicism might cause him to take orders from the Vatican. When asked about this, Kennedy stated, "I do not speak for my church on public matters and the Church does not speak for me."

Do you believe this could be a legitimate concern?

Median Barriers Save Lives

On June 30, 2008 wrote a blog recommending the State of Louisiana start placing barricades in the medians of our interstate highway system to reduce highway fatalities. LINK TO BLOG

Once again, three years later I write on this topic. Yesterday two people were killed in the Baton Rouge area when vehicles crossed the medians and struck oncoming traffic. One of the victims was a friend of mine. Yesterday on I-12, an area familiar with these types of crashes, John Kendall was returning home in his police cruiser. For some reason unknown, John's vehicle crossed the median and struck two vehicles. He was pronounced dead at the scene. LINK TO ARTICLE John was a retired State Police Sergent, former US Court Security Officer and present LA DPS Officer. The second victim died on Florida Blvd in Baton Rouge when her car was struck by a vehicle crossing the median. LINK TO ARTICLE

As I said before, I believe these wire barriers are the key to reducing these terrible accidents. While Louisiana has made some progress in area, more is needed to reduce these unnecessary tragedies. I urge you to contact your legislators and Gov. Bobby Jindel to request more of these along our highways.

I did a little research on this issue today and found some information published from North Carolina. They tested a section of interstate for a 12 month period where a 3 strand wire barrier had been installed. They found 12 impacts. Of the 12 twelve, it was determined none crossed the barrier. Interestingly the police had only been called to one accident. By this, it is believed the other vehicles were able to drive away with only minor damage and no injuries. It appears these barriers work efficiently and are cheap to install. We need these desperately to save lives of our love ones.

The British Riots

First of all, let me say I think those participating in the riots in England are a bunch thugs. I feel so bad for the small business owners who are suffering during this time.

Having said that, I offer my thoughts on how we got to this point. I really doubt any of the rioters have any idea who Mark Dugan is or really care wether he shot at police or not.

"When you cut facilities, slash jobs, abuse power, discriminate, drive people
into deeper poverty and shoot people dead whilst refusing to provide answers or
justice, the people will rise up and express their anger and frustration if you
refuse to hear their cries. A riot is langauge of the unheard." Rev. Martin Luther King

Based on the present political termoil in the USA, I predict simalar problems within the next year.

Attention Book Lovers - Save Money and Go Green!

One of my favorite hobbies is reading, though I am really backed up on wish list books right now. I am finding it is hard to juggle hobbies of gardening, reading, watching movies and blogging. Anyone who has daily access to me will see that all four are suffering. Anyway, I have found book reading to be an expensive hobby. I find paperback editions difficult to read, so I have to purchase the more expensive hardcover editions. At $18 to $30 a copy, they can get very expensive. I have found that by searching online bookstores such as BN.com, amazon.com, and biblio.com, I can find the same books in the used book section for less than $5 and often with free shipping. The last two books I received were more durable former library copies (plastic cover and thicker pages) and were $1 and $3 dollars each with free shipping. The only disadvantage I have found is the shipping may take longer. With today's economic and environmental problems, I am choosing to save the money, save a tree and recycle at the same time. Go Green!

Where's Bobby?

Last week I was behind a car with a bumper sticker that asked "Where's Bobby?" Since it also displayed an Obama bumper sticker, I am pretty sure he was referring to Louisiana's own boy wonder, Bobby Jindal, AKA "absentee governor" and presidential candidate. OWO can answer the question for you. Jindal is doing what he has done at all of his other jobs - looking for another J-O-B. For you ultra right winger Bobby lovers who don't believe me, just check out his resume' on Wikipedia. Piyush "Bobby" Jindal has never kept a job for more than a couple years. Since being "found" by former Governor Mike Fostor in 1996 (just a couple years out of college), Piyush has been, head of Louisiana's Department of Health and Hospitals, a national commission on Medicare, President of the Louisiana University System, Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services (federal), failed Louisiana gubernatorial candidate (I voted for him and still think he was the best choice) in 2003, US Congressman and now Louisiana Governor. True to form, Piyush now appears to be setting himself up for a run at US President. While he was US Congressman, he missed a number of votes because he was making "fact finding" appearances (or many would say fund raising for governor) in other Louisiana Congressional Districts. Now after a successful gubernatorial election, Piyush is making fund raising appearances in right wing areas of the country. Sounds like he is working towards his next J-O-B to me.

HEROES or ERRANTS? Just setting the record straight

OK I just have to get this off my chest. I have been dumbfounded by the recent rush to proclaim someone a hero only to find the facts of the incident indicate they screwed up. Have Americans become so desperate to have heroes in their lives that they rush to conclusions? Is the word HERO an easy headline for the media, or is it just a good "buzz" word for a politician to use in front of cameras?

Cases in point:

The Stolen Ship Incident: Last week Capt. Richard Phillips was hailed a hero after being rescued by the United States Navy. Hmmmm, lets see if I understand this. Phillips was sailing his gazillion foot freighter over the high seas off the coast of Somalia. Four 16 year old kids in a skiff managed to capture the ship and take the captain hostage. How did he let that happen? It seems to me the real heroes are men and women of the US Navy who "executed" his release.

Hero or Goose Killer: We all remember the miracle landing in Hudson River by Capt. "Sully" after he flew his Airbus jet into a flock of geese causing both engines to fail and forcing the plane to land in the Hudson River. I am pretty sure airline pilots are told it is not wise to do either of those events. Nevertheless, after having a couple 10 pound geese take control of his multimillion dollar aircraft, Capt. Sully was heralded a hero. I believe the real heroes are the flight attendants and ferry boat crews whose swift actions assisted in the rescue of the passengers from the cold water.

Lost Soldier: During the early days of our immoral invasion of Iraq we all gasped at the news that one of our female soldiers had been captured after fierce gun battle. Before we really knew what happened, the Whitehouse had erroneously described her fierce battle against the enemy and led to speculation she was being tortured and raped. It turns out her supply unit was lost after her company commander did not follow directions. They wandered into an enemy strong point the rest of the Army was trying to avoid. Jessica never fired a shot form her weapon. Fortunately, after the battle some decent Iraqi citizens took Jessica Lynch to a hospital where she was treated until rescued by special forces. We now know the special forces were not needed as the doctors were seeking her safe return. I would call the citizens and doctors who gave her safe care the real heroes of this unfortunate event.